The
Submissive Wife’s 20 Answers
|
20 |
Does being submissive mean I am somehow
inferior?
No,
of course not. In our understanding, “submissive” does not equate to
“subservient.”
In
a relationship in which the roles are clearly defined along submissive and
dominant lines, ultimate power is wielded by the submissive partner. After all,
it is she who must freely choose to give herself in trust to her partner.
Without that gift, he has no dominance over her. If that gift is taken from
her, it is not submission or surrender at all—it is abuse or intimidation, neither
of which suggest dominance. In fact, the primary indicators of a weak man are
violence, jealousy, controlling behavior and ridicule. The primary indicators
of a strong woman are trust, patient surrender and watchfulness.
Often
that exchange of power does not occur at all, in which case roles become
confused and the resulting conflicts are often based on disappointments, frustrations
and perceptions of failure.
Because
of the androgyny of the prevailing culture, offering submission is not as
simple as it perhaps ought to be. In those frequent cases where a partner is
passive or unengaged, the need for dominance must come from within, generally
as a response to instinctively understood assumptions—and not as a response to
a woman’s demand to surrender. Insisting her partner assume a dominant role is
itself a powerful form of dominance.
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1998-2005 The Submissive Wife. All rights reserved.
Reviewed
February 2005.