The Submissive Wife | On Instruction as Formation

On Instruction as Formation.

“O

ne of the first things i learned is that every lesson is different. i honestly didn’t realize how much i needed to experience some things to see how important they were to me and to what i felt i needed. i never even thought of some of these things! But then…”

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he way we use the word “instruction” is considered. We have a clear set of principles we follow in most cases, but we do not engage in a systematic approach to submission. So what do we mean when we discuss “instruction”? By now it is no doubt obvious that this is not a BDSM site or a website devoted to overt examinations of female sexuality. At the same time, this is not a “Submissive Studies” course. While we do maintain a popular text resource list, there is no curriculum. There are no mileposts: There is no point B because there is no point A. Except in very rare cases, there is not even an instructor. And those seeking to enjoy submission as a lifestyle kink, as a role-playing game or as part of an online affair most certainly should go elsewhere for information.

Our understanding of instruction is found in the experiential nature of the way we learn to apply our principles to our lives. The process is one of formation as a way of responding to an instinctive calling. As employed by our project and described however inadequately on these pages it has been used for more than a decade by intelligent women who seek balance in every important aspect of their lives.

ubmission obtains in many contexts and our focus is at least initially on sexual submission. But sexual submission can be learned in a variety of ways; for women who simply want to learn how to surrender in bed and how to express submission in an intimate way, the process is straightforward, generally pleasurable and as a rule requires very little input from the members of this project.

But for those of us who wish also to comprehend our desire to experience the intellectual, emotional, spiritual contexts of submission alongside our sexuality, and for those of us who want to discover how to elicit in our partners a natural dominant instinct as a response to our own need to submit, a much greater dedication to obedience is expected.

That dedication to obedience and to embracing guidance within the framework of a monitored or mentored process has been the single most important aspect of this experience for us. Indeed this comes closest to what we mean when we speak of “instruction.” It is not exactly a crash-course: Some of us stay for years. Indeed, the process takes time and therefore requires patience and intelligence. And for those who follow on to request monitoring, it requires an investment of time as well. As a result, project participants are difficult to accommodate and new entrants are not being encouraged at all. Other varieties of instruction are less intrusive and somewhat more welcoming.

For a description of the various modes of formation, all of which use the elements below in varying amounts, please click here.

e hope the explanation of the different aspects of what we loosely term “instruction” is helpful. If it all seems somewhat vague, it’s because for each of us the specific experiences that form the basis of this process have had distinctly different effects. Nevertheless, the syllogism of accountability | control | obedience | discipline and correction | surrender | reward | wisdom, as indexed below, lends itself well to reflection and generally describes the approach the Project uses. We present this section of the site as a resource with the hope that it will benefit you as it has us.

ADDITIONAL NOTES ON INSTRUCTION

Please read and understand the Project disclaimer.

1. We welcome married and unmarried adult women only. Obviously we are unable to offer guidance or any form of instruction to men. Those under the age of 21 should not have entered this site at all.

2. This website should not be considered a recruitment tool of any kind. However, if you have an honest interest in the Project and an explainable need to join us, the best way to proceed is to explore the nature of the online community component of the Project. In the discussion areas devoted to the various contexts of submission, experienced project participants and newcomers exchange information, experiences, resources and observations. In the community, experienced Project volunteers provide additional programs designed to deepen various aspects of formation. Acceptance is not automatic and the registration process is cumbersome and invasive in order to safeguard privacy. For details concerning the online community, click here.

3. If you have additional questions, you may contact us. All correspondence will be treated as confidential and answered by the site administrator or by a Project monitor—in most cases, a married woman, like yourself.

4. For notes on the various modes of formation used in the project, click here. The page devoted to frequently asked questions (FAQ) also contains helpful information.

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“…then it all changed. Now i don't think i ever want to STOP doing this. i feel like i have been shown a part of life that i would never have seen, let alone experienced, without this. Without guidance, i would have had to sacrifice everything to cope with what i felt i HAD to do to be my true self. What a dance! Thank You so much.” –wyldwyfe (dani)

ELEMENTS of INSTRUCTION

NOTES on MODES of FORMATION

SITE NAVIGATION

This page reviewed and redacted March 2005.