Resources
| The Spirituality of Sustained Sexual Awareness
The
Prayer of the Body
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ften
in this process, we are asked to maintain a level of extremely high arousal for
an extended period of time, and to be obedient to certain disciplines that help
us maintain that arousal and the focus on our surrender that should always be a
part of our daily lives. But distraction is easier to find than focus, and after
several months of close obedience, the arousal that was once so overwhelming
and obvious becomes a part of how we live as submissive women and as
participants in this program. As with everything we do here, the constant
arousal of the spirit requires watchful attentiveness, as one thoughtful woman
has discovered:
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henever I experience beauty through my senses, I am stirred to love. For
example, when I travel to the mountains or the ocean or a forest, I am often
caught up in the beauty and grandeur of everything. The sights, smells, tastes,
and sounds captivate me and provide a doorway to God. My heart is filled with
love and gratitude and even perspective. It is as though one has received a
love letter from God. It is incredible and it feels personal. I can feel God’s
presence...God is speaking love. I can sense the balance and the connectedness of
everything, the intricacies of it all. It is amazing.
Of course, there are many experiences that elicit this response. It’s often
different for everyone. Standing in front, of a lilac bush, holding a baby,
playing with a puppy or kitten, being the recipient of a kind gesture, or
helping someone are all things of beauty that can stir one to love.
Through our senses, our mind, heart, and soul are stirred to love. 
Our mind contemplates the love and mercy of
God, our place in the world, and the connectedness of everything. Our heart
opens up and swells with love. Our soul comes alive. We are closer to God.
How can one love or pray with one’s body? Obviously, you can do so by placing
yourself in situations where your senses are stimulated. Taking time to walk in
nature, to listen to music intently, and to eat good food are all ways that
utilize the senses of the body. With intention, they are prayer. If you listen
and if you’re open, you can hear God.
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or example, your work can be prayer if it’s performed with love and
intention. Or you can put your body in certain postures or positions or by
making certain gestures. In many cultures, people bow or genuflect as a way to
acknowledge God in another person or to simply show respect. In my church, for
example, upon entering the building, I pause for a moment, dip my hand in holy
water and make the sign of the cross, which is a prayer in which I use my body.
When I reach a pew, I genuflect toward the tabernacle, to acknowledge Jesus.
During the mass, we alternate between standing, sitting, and kneeling.
Each posture denotes different attitudes. Standing denotes praise, sitting is
an open posture that promotes listening, and kneeling is a posture of penance
and reverence. Before the gospel reading, we make the sign of the cross on our
forehead, our lips, and over our heart as we say, ‘May God be in our minds, on
our lips, and in our hearts.’ We often lift our hands as we pray the Our Father
and we shake hands or hug as we make the sign of the peace. Some people strike
their breast for emphasis during the Eucharistic prayer. When we go to receive
Communion, we bow before Jesus. After mass, one may light a candle as a prayer.
Upon leaving the church building, we dip our hands in the holy water again and
make the sign of the cross.
Placing your body in a certain state can be
another form of praying. Making love in a sacred context is prayerful. Running,
swimming, yoga and many other forms of exercise use the body to reach a certain
zone or place where you are more open, more attentive, more
awake. You become more open to loving and receiving love. Things become more clear.
Another way of praying with one’s body is through meditation, where you gently,
effortlessly still your body. Your breathing and all your bodily functions seem
to slow and quiet. You are open and you take whatever presents itself. You are
given a feeling of love and gratitude, a feeling of being lifted up. Meditation
promotes awareness and perspective throughout one’s day. It provides rest and
nourishment for the body.
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et, another way of praying with your body, and one we use in our
disciplines here, is to maintain a high level of sexual arousal for extended
periods of time. Remaining watchful enough and focused enough to do this can be
a form of praying without ceasing, as Paul calls us to do in one of his letters
to the Thessalonians. The mind (which is part of the body) works together with
the body to achieve this high level of arousal. The principle is not unlike
using breathing, posture or other natural meditative techniques to harmonize
the mind and the body.
As with all forms of prayer, praying with your body by maintaining a high level
of arousal requires discipline, time, effort, focus, experience and especially
grace.
At times, I forget to pray. At other times, I
pray, but get distracted. For example, if I am masturbating in the middle of my
day in order to be obedient to my disciplines and I only allow a short period
of time to do so while I’m also thinking about all of the things that I have to
do, I’m distracted and I’m not likely to experience the fruits of that
discipline or that particular prayer. Yet, I know all is not lost and I must
not be discouraged. I try to acknowledge the things that distract me and the people
who demand my attention, and I try not to struggle or judge myself. Instead, I
just carry on with my prayers. I think that struggle or anxiety over whether I
succeed may be a form of resistance that may prevent me from being open. I know
that I should continue to strive to do that which keeps me aroused. With the
practice of certain disciplines, and by taking the necessary time, I am
becoming more effective at maintaining a level of constant arousal, of staying
awake, of being constantly aware.
Is this lust? Yes. But it is a lust for obedience, for surrender, for peace. It
is a holy desire. When I am praying with my body this way, I gain greater
clarity. I am more fully realized as a woman. My heart opens up, I am filled
with love, and I gain perspective. I feel connected to my neighbor, to God and
I feel a tremendous sense of gratitude for the guidance I have been given.
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nd as with
other forms of prayer, there are times when I experience moments of grace. I
have been lifted up almost like an instrument and instead of being the one who
is praying, I have felt I had become the one being prayed. My body became the
vessel, filled with the Holy Spirit. I have had a feeling of being transported;
it was intense and it was wonderful. There was a sense of union. Truly, it’s
difficult to describe these moments. But I can say that they are a gift and
that they cause me to feel love. It is incredible.
Naturally, these moments often seem to lead to a strong, transcendent, almost meditative orgasm, although
having a strong orgasm does not necessarily elicit these experiences. My mind
and body help bring me there, to that edge—and then it is as though I am
lifted, used, filled, 
in ways I
cannot begin to comprehend.
And so the journey through this instruction goes...even when I have experienced
the fruits of discipline, obedience, even of physical prayer, I can still get
distracted. It is as though I must make up my mind and then live accordingly. I
must do what it takes to stir myself to love, always praying for guidance, and
praying that I am always guided with wisdom.” — j.j.
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______________________________
SUSTAINED
SEXUAL AWARENESS
Introduction to the Spirituality of Sustained Sexual Awareness
1. On Watchfulness | 2. The Prayer of the Body | 3. The Prayer of Constant Arousal
Practical
approaches to constant arousal (participants only) Notes on Shame
and Prayerfulness (participants only) ______________________________ Other resource and discipline pages are provided to
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Last review: March 2007