The Submissive Wife | Resources

Resources | Text Resources

he women who participate in this project are expected to understand their submissive instincts in a context other than a sexual one. The text resources gathered here may not reflect completely the philosophical framework the Project uses (in fact, some are antithetical to it), but they will provide some basis for an intellectual exploration as you proceed through the stages of instruction and guidance.

This resource list has been developed over time and through direct instruction. Its purpose is not to give an exhaustive review of the material we are expected to understand. It is, instead, a list of texts and other material found useful in our formation as a submissive women and in instruction, where guided experience is sometimes used as a framing device for further inquiry. Each of the titles below is a live link to either the resource itself or to a supplier from whom the book may be ordered. Project Participants may be asked to augment this material in various ways, including the creation of resource documents for use by others pursuing related enquiries. Some texts describe practices and concepts not embraced by our Project, and some, especially in the fiction list, are best approached as simplistic, if arousing, allegories.

It’s expected that each of us will ask any questions she may have about this material. It is assumed that, aside from some of the more esoteric texts, most students will already have been made familiar by virtue of previous education with many of these sources, but that the context of this instruction will add value to familiar readings. The participants in the Project will not be quizzed or examined on this content or pursued to absorb it; these resources do not constitute a curriculum or required reading. As with every aspect of this instruction, you must want what is offered. This list changes from time to time. Updates are generally not announced, but a datestamp appears at the bottom of this page showing the date of the most recent change.

If you have any questions or need additional guidance, please contact us. There is a community-run discussion area (with public access) associated with this page. To visit it, please click here.

This page is concerned with text (and limited web) resources only. There are other resource pages available only to participants covering various aspects of your submission, including personal grooming; instructional items and accessories; sexual skills; accountability; web, film and video resources; and dress requirements and restrictions. These are distinct from the pages devoted to disciplines and other ongoing requirements. Access to all resource and discipline pages is given to participants on an as-needed basis. Some resources require Adobe Reader. For a free download of the latest version, please click here: .

This resource page is available for public viewing, however some links lead to content in protected areas of the website. Those areas are accessible to participants only.

To search this site for additional resources, click here.

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An asterisk denotes essential texts.

SCRIPTURAL and other SPIRITUAL DOCUMENTS

Titles are live links. Most are available online.

While this instruction is not based on Biblical or denominational approaches to submission, an understanding of the spiritual context of submission is considered very useful, even when belief does not follow understanding.

Biblical Texts*

Genesis

The Book of Esther

Additions to the Book of Esther, from the Apocrypha, 5-6

The Song of Solomon

1 Corinthians

Ephesians

Other Texts

Lilith, from The Alphabet of Ben Sira

Foreword to Seder Nashim, with links to the tractates.

Maimonides on the sequence of the tractates in Seder Nashim

Sexuality in Kabbalah

A commentary with useful links.

Surah 4, from the Quran

OTHER TEXTS on SPIRITUALITY and SEXUALITY

The Constant Arousal of the Soul*

A Project participant’s thoughts on the use of obedience to disciplines as a meditative exercise.

Anonymous: The Way of a Pilgrim (trans. R.M. French)*

An often used text by those members seeking to find ways of integrating sustained watchfulness with the demands of a complex life. A supplemental text of great merit is this selection of material from the Philokalia on prayers of the heart.

de Caussade: Abandonment to Divine Providence*

The community maintains a .pdf version of this title here. (The Adobe Reader is available as a free download here.) A useful ancillary text: Mysticism: A Study in Nature and Development of Spiritual Consciousness (Underhill).

Kallistos: Remarks on Some Aspects of Hesychasm

An introduction to the use of the body as a means of attaining a state of prayerful awareness. A brief survey from Halsall here. Seek guidance with the topics associated with this and related texts.

Sexuality and Creativity

The view of a Roman Catholic priest, a scholar with an interest in applied spirituality.

On Watchfulness and Waiting*

A page from the participants’ area of the site, modified for public access and perhaps the most relevant text for those who wish to understand the way our Project approaches submission. See also S. Symeon NT on Watchfulness.

Sexuality and Spirituality

A Protestant view of a process redefining an important aspect of moral theology. This important topic is discussed by participants and others in the community’s discussion area devoted to spirituality and submissive sexuality.

Porete: Mirror of Simple Souls

Related and supplemental texts: Mechthild of Magdeburg: The Flowing Light of the Godhead; Hadewijch of Brabant: Complete Works; Brides in the Desert: The Spirituality of the Beguines (Murk-Jansen: publisher page here); Cities of Ladies: Beguine Communities in the Medieval Low Countries, 1200-1565 (W. Simons). Seek guidance with these texts. Other texts (Kempe, Julian of Norwich, etc.) may be assigned as required. The influence of the béguinage movement is reflected in the structure and spirit of our community. An historical overview may be found here. An unrelated approach is found in a modern adaptation of the movement. For details see here. A recent title (February 2007) associated with this subject is Desert Mothers, an essay on the spiritual practices of “Women of the Wilderness ” by M. Earle.

Leibniz: Theodicy

Exciting subtitle: “Essays on the Goodness of God the Freedom of Man and the Origin of Evil.” A very brief excerpt may be found here.It is intended that this text by G. Leibniz be read in conjunction with Voltaire: Candide (see below). More seriously, Leibniz's approach to rationalism is also helpful in understanding the Project's view of the nature of transcendent submission, an introduction to which may be obtained by reading this introduction: The Rationalists: Descartes: Discourse on Method & Meditations; Spinoza: Ethics; Leibniz: Monadology & Discourse on Metaphysics . The suggestions below may also be helpful to some.

Descartes: Selections from the Principles of Philosophy

Pretentious? Yes! However, Cartesian rationalism is useful especially for those interested in transcendent, or idealized, submission in which geographical proximity isn't always possible or desirable, or in which spiritual considerations are the focus of surrender. The theoretical construct for this isn't exactly a series of straight connections, but this text (especially pt 1: 32, 48 and 54) is as good a place to start as any in an effort to synthesize experience and thought from disparate sources. For an online overview: Descartes SEP entry. For a simplified approach to Descartes: Descartes: A very short introduction. A suggested parallel text from this resource list: Bauby: The Diving Bell and the Butterfly: A Memoir of Life in Death. Feminist submissives may appreciate Susan Bordo's comments on this topic, especially in The Flight to Objectivity: Essays on Cartesianism and Culture. (See also under Leibniz, above.) On a more practical level, 'Toward Maintaining a Perpetual Connection' is the topic of a Project resource page available to interested readers.

Books, ESSAYS, STUDIES and OTHER DOCUMENTS

God And Gender In Judaism

“Women and men, both, have to find ways of dealing with this strange God of the Bible and prayerbook.”

Masculinity and Femininity in Contemporary American Society

On the Gender-Typed Nature of Dominant and Submissive Acts

Two studies from Sex Roles suggesting the difficulties faced by modern researchers in reaching socially comfortable role redefinitions.

Exploring BDSM Without A Partner

Fiction

Voltaire: Candide (etext)

Online English-language etext here. Print edition information here. This text should be read in conjunction with Leibniz: Theodicy (see above).

Hardy: Far from the Madding Crowd (etext)

Chekhov: The Darling (etext)

With a linked analysis by Tolstoy, which should be read in association with ‘The Darling’.

Trollope: An Unprotected Female at the Pyramids (etext)

Rice: The Sleeping Beauty novels

Reage: The Story of O

Follow this link to the curious story behind the Story of O. “But beyond its merits as a literary work… there lies the paradox that this incendiary book was written by a woman who wore little make-up and no jewellery, who dressed with quiet elegance, who lived out a polite, bluestocking existence in a small flat with her parents and son. In the end, the most instructive aspect of the book is that it demonstrates the demoniac nature of sexuality in any or all of us. This quiet, learned woman understood the power of sex.” Participants are reminded that reading books such as Story of O or many of the other novels on this list without a useful context isn’t very helpful. A suggested complementary text: Fear and Trembling (see below).

Corum: Breaking the Girl

Nin: Delta of Venus

Golden: Memoirs of a Geisha

Some thought this should be a required text. Others thought it should be a film. The film side has won.

Wald: Meeting the Master

Click here for forum comments on this book.

de Sade: Justine and other texts

An alternative: Julliette.

Bataille: Story of the Eye

Gaitskill: Bad Behavior

Includes Secretary, the short story on which the James Spader/Maggie Gyllenhaal film is based. A novelization of the film is here.

DRAMA, POETRY and MISCELLANEOUS DOCUMENTS

Herodas: The Dildo (etext)

Xenophon: How to Train a Wife (etext)

Ovid: The Amores (etext)

Cavendish: The Convent of Pleasure

Shakespeare: The Taming of the Shrew (etext)

Follow these links to an interesting theatrical review and to a useful critical gloss.

Congreve: The Way of the World (etext)

The Anthology: A Portfolio of Student Work

Privacy policies restrict access to this section to active participants only.

NON-FICTION

Kierkegaard: Fear and Trembling*

An e-text version of the book is located here.

Schumacher: Guide for the Perplexed

A very helpful commentary on much that we discuss in some areas of our community—but not to be confused with the famous treatise of the same name by Moses Maimonides, which is however not a bad guide to other, closely related perplexities (and worth additional time “for the benefit of those who are anxious to acquire perfection”).

Millet: The Sexual Life of Catherine M.

Click here for forum comments on this book.

Bauby: The Diving Bell and the Butterfly: A Memoir of Life in Death

An elegant masterpiece of restrained beauty. This may be read in conjunction with The Yellow Wallpaper, by Charlotte Perkins Gilmore. Helpful to both: On Watchfulness.

NON-FICTION SELF-HELP and REFERENCE

Nhat Hanh, The Miracle of Mindfulness*

The focus in this remarkable little book is on meditation—in fact, the original subtitle was “An Introduction to Meditation”—but it’s more than just a handbook for beginning med-heads. "Miracle" finds additional usefulness when combined with some of the physical disciplines used in this project, where mindfulness, watchfulness and constant awareness are always so important. Click here for forum comments on this book.

Varrin: Erotic Surrender: The Sensual Joys of Female Submission

Brame, et al.: Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission

Robinson: The Power of Sexual Surrender

Doyle: The Surrendered Wife

Click here for forum comments on this book.

Woods: Masturbation, Tantra and Self-Love

Blank: I Am My Lover

Dodson: Sex for One

Allison: Tickle Your Fancy: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Self-Pleasure

Taormino: The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women

Click here for forum comments (registered forum members only) on this book. This topic is also discussed generally in the sexuality and submission forum (registered forum members only).

TEXT and OTHER RESOURCES SUGGESTED BY PARTICIPANTS

A list of texts and links and other resources proposed by participants and community members.

NON-FICTION SELF-HELP and REFERENCE

Williamson: A Woman's Worth

Click here for forum comments on this book, including this remark by lin, a forum co-moderator: “For me, this author has provided a definition of surrender that speaks to my heart.”

Waggoner: The Myth of the Submissive Christian Woman

SEXUALITY, BDSM and D/s

The Pearl: A Journal of Facetive and Voluptuous Reading

Victorian naughtiness.

Aretino: The School of Whoredom

Learning about men the hard way in the early 16^th century.

Bentley: The Surrender

A former dancer with the NYC Ballet discovers the pleasures of anal sex.

Brame, Brame, and Jacobs: Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission

Subtitle tells all: “A Complete Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission”. An exploration of the authors’ world at any rate, and recommended by many. Using this link to the book will aid the authors, we hope.

Coelho: Eleven Minutes

An idealistic girl explores many kinds of sexuality through prostitution in her quest for Sacred Sex and surrender to Love. Delightful and enlightening.

Weatherfield: Carrie's Story

        A graphic novel. Feverish.

Willie: The Adventures of Sweet Gwendoline

A graphic graphic novel—with excellent (if conventional) fetishist artwork.

Wiseman: Tricks...to Please a Man

It does exactly what it says on the cover – simple, helpful, professional, very useful.

SUBMISSION-RELATED TEXTS: WEB LINKS

The D/s Kiosk Literary Guide

Taken in Hand

Sarah Penny’s erudite and intelligent site focuses on spanking, submission and related themes.

PRACTICAL INFORMATION

Parenting information

Politically incorrect, of course.

SEXUALITY, BEAUTY and GROOMING

Shaving: A not-so-rough guide

If you can’t access the participants’ area, this is a useful substitute. From clitical.com, a woman-friendly site we like.

Queen: Exhibitionism for the Shy

SPIRITUAL RESOURCES

Celebration of Discipline

Richard Foster’s very Protestant, very readable classic. Click here for forum comments on this book. Click here to visit Foster’s Renovaré site.

Nuns Who Blog

Spirituality and Addiction

DOMESTIC DISCIPLINE

The Spencer Spanking Plan

MISCELLANEOUS & DUBIOUS

A Slave’s Contract

Role-playing for lawyers? Just say no.

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Last update: April 2009